The Way It Is
by Anti Darth Ani
Summary: Sara-Nick: It all started with an innocent game of strip poker. Things get out of control when Grissom finds out and things all go downhill from there. Plus, someone from Sara's past isn't making things any easier.
1. Poker

The Way It Is  
  
By: Anti Darth Ani  
  
Hey! And welcome to my second Sara/Nick based fan-fic. Please let me know what you think, either via review or AIMing me at Anti Darth Ani (very easy to remember)! I love to know what you think before I continue with more chapters. I'd like to warn all my readers ahead of time that this is not a Sara/Grissom friendly fan-fic, so you've been warned. If you're still here, let's get on with the show!  
  
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Chapter I - Poker  
  
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"Can we call it quits now?" Sara Sidle asked, sitting on the couch. Nick Stokes looked up from his hand and grinned. "Why, Sara? A few more games and you'll be wearing your birthday suit for me to see."  
  
Sara sighed and placed two cards, face down, on the glass coffee table and pulled two more from the pile to her hand. She tried not to show any emotion on her face, but inside she was groaning. She was already down to her bra, pants, and underwear. "I didn't even want to play this stupid game," she muttered, setting her five cards face up on the table. Nick grinned and slapped his down on the table on top of hers. He had a flush and all Sara had was two sevens. Sara groaned and didn't move to stand up. "I don't think that hand should count since I didn't want to play."  
  
Nick shook his head and took a swig of his beer, "Need I remind you that it was your idea that we play poker in the first place?" he asked, setting the beer back on the table and moving to collect all the cards to reshuffle.  
  
"No, Nick, you don't have to. But it was your idea to play strip poker," she added, taking a sip of her own beer. "And now I'm ready to quit playing."  
  
Nick shuffled the cards expertly and looked at her face, "You just want to quit because you're not winning any more," he corrected her. He still had on his shirt, undershirt, boxers, and pants. They had been playing for over half an hour and Sara wasn't drunk enough to want to take her pants off yet.  
  
Nick placed the cards face down on the table. "You know the rules, Sara. Either you take them off or I'll take them off for you." Sara mumbled something about men in general before standing up and unbuckling her pants. She tossed them aside and sat back down on the couch, a look of defeat on her face. "This is the last hand, Stokes," she mumbled.  
  
Nick dealt the cards, setting the pile back down on the table before picking up his own hand. Sara looked at her own cards and wanted to shoot herself. The only good card she had was the queen of hearts. She looked over the top of her cards at Nick, who was looking back at her. For some reason, it almost seemed as if he wasn't really look at her, but deep in thought. Sara shrugged it off and placed the four unwanted cards on the table before drawing another new four.  
  
Her shoulders slumped slightly at the hand. She had gotten a king of diamonds, but the rest were low cards around the fours and fives. Nick had placed three of his cards down and drawn three more. She didn't understand how he had bet her in the last four games when she had won the first three. When she dropped three of her cards onto the table and taken three more, she noticed he was looking at her again. Sure, she realized that she was only wearing a lacy bra and a thong, but he wasn't looking in those places. He was looking at her shoulder.  
  
Sara got a jack of spades and a ten of hearts in that draw. She replaced the two of diamonds and drew one more time. Damn, she thought, looking at the eight of clubs she had drawn. Nick seemed to being doing a little better over in his corner. She was going to fold this time, because she didn't have anything.  
  
She looked back at him, waiting for him to make his move, but he was staring again. Sara wanted to scream at him to stop. "What are you looking at?" she asked, irritated. Nick raised an eyebrow and then lowered it again. "Nothing."  
  
"You're looking at something," she commented. She turned her head around before Nick could stop her. Sara frowned as soon as she saw the large mirror hanging on the wall behind her. She spun back around to face him, glaring dangerously at him. Nick wasn't sure what to do.  
  
"You cheated!" she yelled, throwing her hand at him. "You cheated, you cheated, you cheated, Stokes!" she continued. She got up from the couch and stepped around the coffee table to Nick, who had gotten to his feet and was holding back a grin. "I can't believe it!" she continued. "No wonder you've won the last four games. You little scum," Sara snapped.  
  
Nick couldn't stop the grin from appearing, "It's not like I had planned to. I didn't even notice it until the fourth or fifth hand. Honest."  
  
Sara stared at him, "Honest? Are you kidding me? You were cheating during strip poker, Nick!" she accused.  
  
"I'm a guy, Sara. Can you blame me?" he asked, using the manly excuse. Sara's jaw dropped an inch as she crossed her arms across her chest, "Of course I can blame you!"  
  
Nick glanced from her eyes to her lips. He would have looked even lower, but he was already sitting in hot water with her. "You know what they do to cheaters, don't you, Nick?" she questioned, taking a step closer to him. Nick managed to shake his head no. Sara nodded back at him, "Oh, I know you do," she responded evilly. She reached for the bottom button of his shirt and unbuttoned it before working on the second and third, "It's only fair," she reasoned to him, getting the last button undone. Nick tried to keep his breathing at a normal rate while she pushed his shirt off his broad shoulders and threw it to the floor.  
  
Sara then started pulling his undershirt up slowly. When he felt her fingers on his stomach, Nick couldn't help grin. "I bet me cheating has made you extremely happy, Sara," he noted. "You are getting to undress me. I think you owe me one," he added while she pulled the undershirt off his head and threw it in the general direction of his shirt.  
  
"Don't flatter yourself, Nick," she commented. Although now that he had mentioned it, Sara couldn't help looking at his well built upper body. Swallowing as hard as she could, she decided to speak again. "You've still got the pants to go to make this game fair." Nick shook his head and took a step back. He had no problem of loosing the pants, but he wanted to at least appear resistant. At first anyway. Sara matched his step, standing only an inch away from him.  
  
Her fingers ran from his sides to his waist, where she found the belt buckle. Sara undid the belt before unsnapping the pants. She paused before reaching for the zipper. Nick watched her every move, altering his view from her hands to her face. The room suddenly felt hotter to both of them. Sara had barely undone the zipper before she looked back up at him. Her eyes studied his slowly and she bit her bottom lip unconsciously. Nick noticed this movement.  
  
Before another word was spoken, his lips were on hers in a hungry kiss. Sara responded quickly, letting her arms wrap around his neck, pulling his mouth harder against hers in an open-mouthed kiss. Without a single thought, Nick began to push Sara backwards in the general direction of the bedroom.  
  
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Short, I know. It's the little beginning chapter that takes place two months before the rest of this fan-fic. It'll update as soon as I can. I hope you enjoyed. This story sort of popped up in my head at the bus circle today at school, so I decided to write it. 


	2. Morning

The Way It Is  
  
By: Anti Darth Ani  
  
Chapter two, chapter two. Hey, stop throwing your shoe at me!! I'm not that…. bad - at least I hope not. Tell me what you think!! I hope to update this fan-fic as fast as I can with every new chapter. I'm working on another fan-fic at the same time, so it might be a little hard.  
  
In case you didn't read my little note at the end of the first chapter, just wanted to let you know that this scene and from here on out occur two months after the first chapter, which was more like a prologue.  
  
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Chapter II - Morning  
  
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The alarm sounded, filling the room with an annoying ringing. Sara grunted and pulled her arm out of the sheets to slam it against the clock in hopes to stop the noise. She inadvertently knocked the alarm clock off the nightstand, but at least it stopped it's constant beeping. "Thank you," a voice mumbled behind her. Sara just grunted again and pulled the covers that had ended up at the bottom of the bed during the night back up to her shoulders. The house with just a bit too cold for her to handle. She would complain about it later, once she had gotten a little more sleep.  
  
Only once she was almost asleep, half an hour later, did the person behind her jerk up quickly. Since she had claimed his hand at sometime during the night, he accidentally pulled her up with him. Sara squealed at the sudden movement, shocked out of her mind. "What the hell?" she fumed.  
  
"You turned off the alarm, Sara!" he yelled, not angry just panicked. He slipped out of the bed, pulling his arm with him, turning Sara around in the bed to face him but leaving her there. He rummaged through the top dresser door until he found a pair of boxers and pulled them on.  
  
"Nick…" she started, propping herself up on her arm. She waited for him to answer, but he paid no attention, hurrying into the bathroom. He left the door ajar and Sara saw the light fill up the room and then the sound of running water. She just sat there in his bed until he came back into the bedroom. His hair was combed quickly and his teeth brushed. He pulled on the first pair of black slacks he found and started yanking an undershirt on over his head. "Nicky," Sara tried again.  
  
Nick pulled out a solid light blue shirt out of the closest and put it on, buttoning the front quickly up. Sara rolled her eyes as he continued to ignore her. Finally, he grabbed a pair of socks out of the dresser and sat down on the edge of the bed to put them on. Sara crawled across the bed and wrapped her arms around his neck from behind, resting her chin on his right shoulder. "Not only it is Saturday, but it isn't even time to go into work yet," she told him, nipping on his ear.  
  
"I've got to be in court today, Sara," he reminded her, cursing at the sock when it wouldn't go on fast enough. Sudden realization flooded over Sara. "I'm sorry, it just escaped my mind from yesterday after work until this morning."  
  
She unbuttoned the top button of his shirt and then started working on the second. She had the third one undone before Nick started to complain, "I'm really pushing it to get to the courtroom on time. Can't you just wait until I get back, Sara?" he asked, pulling on the second sock.  
  
Sara smiled and kissed his neck, "Relax," she whispered. She had managed to get the last button undone and she was already starting to button it up again. "You were off by one. You had an extra hole at the top and then an extra button at the bottom." She paused, resting her hands on his chest. "I really am sorry."  
  
Nick stood up, Sara's arms sliding off his chest to rest on the mattress in front of her lap. He turned around and gave her a sweet kiss. "I've got to go. Are you going back to your place when you get up or are you going to stay here until I get back?" he asked, looking around the room for his business shoes.  
  
Sara fell back against the mass of pillows on the bed. She pretended to think about her response. "I do believe I'll stay here. After all, you are the one with Jacuzzi jets in your bathtub. My apartment doesn't have that."  
  
Nick grinned and yanked on his shoes. "Alright, I've got to get going. I'll see you later," he walked over to the side of the bed and kissed her again quickly. Sara shook her head at him and grinned back, "I'm laying here, completely naked, and you're still going to court. Am I losing my touch?" she asked with a pout on her face.  
  
Nick chuckled, "Not at all, baby. I'll deal with that when I get back." Nick hurried out of the room, tying his tie as he went. Sara sighed and slipped back under the covers. The space next to her already felt cold, but the pillow had the faint remainder of his scent on it. Sara pulled the pillow close to her face, inhaling the wonderful scent while she closed her eyes in hopes of a few more hours of sleep.  
  
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Another short one. It's just the way they are turning out, I'm sorry to admit. It does get them edited and uploaded faster though. Thanks to all my readers and reviewers. I can't believe I forgot that at the top. All of you make my day! 


	3. Busted

The Way It Is  
  
By: Anti Darth Ani  
  
On to chapter three. Thanks to all my wonderful readers and reviewers. I love you all so much!!! Hugs and kisses for everyone! Let me continue before I bore your head off and you leave me all along doing this thing by myself!!  
  
One last thing - If you like this fan-fic, try reading I Need To Let It Go, which is another Nick/Sara fan-fic.  
  
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Chapter III - Rules  
  
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Sara slammed her locker door shut with a satisfying snap. Picking her bag up off the bench, she turned around to come face to face with Nick. She froze on the spot, "God, Nick," she muttered, "talk about giving a woman a heart attack. You don't sneak up on people in this job."  
  
Nick grinned at her, "I'm sorry. Let me make it up to you," he whispered before covering her mouth with his in a delicate kiss. Sara curled her fingers around the collar of his shirt, taking a step back until her back was against the lockers. Nick took the hint and pressed her back against it even harder, resting one hand on the lockers while the other one gripped her waist.  
  
Sara let a low moan escape between her lips, causing Nick to kiss her more passionately by managing to pull her tongue into his mouth. Sara began to unbutton the top button of his shirt, her fingers slightly shaking with want. Earlier that morning he had gone off to court and he hadn't been done testifying until after shift started, so she hadn't gotten any one on one time with him. Grissom had given them different assignments so she hadn't seen him until five minutes before shift ended. By the time she final saw him, thousands of scenarios of the upcoming night had played through her head.  
  
Although now that she was thinking about it, she was feeling a sharp pain and she wasn't quite sure why. It took her a moment to move a little to the left in order to get the Masterlock out of her back. Nick grinned against her mouth, causing Sara to push him about an inch away from her. "So you find that funny?" she asked, gasping for air.  
  
Nick shrugged slightly and brought his head much closer to hers. "Maybe just a little," he admitted. Sara rolled her eyes and slipped her arms around his collar to his neck. She turned her head halfway to the side and cocked one eyebrow up, giving him a funny expression. "You have to admit that it was at least a little bit funny." Sara glared at him this time and he faked a frown. "Would it help if I apologized?" he asked.  
  
Sara sighed. You really had to train guys to be sensitive. Nick tried, but he just didn't get her. Of course, men could never understand women. The only difference was that women cared and men didn't give a rat's ass. She ran one hand up through his shortly cut hair and nodded slightly, waiting for him to put the question and the response together. It didn't take him as long as she thought it would. Maybe he was finally starting to get it.  
  
Nick grinned at her and brought her lips back to his. Sara would have sighed, but it was nearly impossible now and she didn't want to waste the precious air she was going to need. It would go to much better use doing what they were currently doing, she figured. Even though it had been two months since that one night that changed everything, she sometimes still felt as if it had been only yesterday when he had cheated during their little game of strip poker. As she looked back on the event, she was very happy he had cheated after all.  
  
Sara and Nick were so into their kissing, they didn't hear the locker door open quietly. They also didn't hear when someone walk into the locker room. They didn't hear anything until that someone cleared his throat.  
  
Nick jerked away from Sara to face the supervisor. He was quite breathless and Grissom wasn't saying anything. He just stood rooted to the fall, studying Sara's face, which was covered with a look of horror mixed with just a little fear. Grissom couldn't see because Nick's body was blocking the way, but she had a death grip on the back of Nick's shirt. If the situation hadn't been so serious, Nick may have started laughing. But he never laughed when Grissom was staring at him, mostly because Grissom didn't have a sense of humor. He didn't even know what humor was.  
  
"In my office, both of you. Ten minutes," he spoke in two short sentences before turning around and walking back out of the locker room. They waited until they heard the door click shut before Nick even dared to turn around.  
  
"You don't think he was too mad, do you?" Sara asked, already nervous. He shrugged and kissed the tip of her nose. "You know," she added, "this would never have happened if we had just told them what was going on between us."  
  
Nick gave Sara an accusing glare, "And whose idea what that, Sidle?" he asked her.  
  
Sara pretended she didn't know, "Well, it might have been my idea, but I do know that you agreed with it."  
  
Nick shook his head before turning around to head to Grissom's office. So much for the evening he had planned.  
  
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Thanks to everyone who's still hanging in there with me. Next chapter's going to be really good. Hope to see you there as well! It's going to be a little longer because things are going to get a little complicated. Hint, hint. 


	4. Rules

The Way It Is  
  
By: Anti Darth Ani  
  
Hope you enjoy my latest chapter. Things are going to get a little complicated, yet interesting, in this chapter, so don't go anywhere! Sit in that chair and read this chapter!! Please?  
  
A little Grissom/Sara bashing in this chapter so if you don't like it, lump it.  
  
Thanks to all my readers and reviewers. I love you all so much and you are just too kind!!!!  
  
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Chapter IV - Rules  
  
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Grissom sat at his desk, rubbing his temples to try to rid himself of the pain collecting in his head. He wasn't sure what he had walked in on when he went to the locker room, but he knew that he was going to have to talk to them about whatever it was. Grissom sighed and pushed some of the papers on the top of a pile to the side. What was he really going to say to them? Was he even sure what he had seen was something important?  
  
Grissom almost smacked himself. Of course them kissing was something important. How could it not be? Sara and Nick kissing in the locker room. The words just wouldn't fit together in Grissom's head. He was so sure Sara still cared about him. Why was she so suddenly interested in Nick? All these questions ran through his complicated mind. He had always thought he had Sara all figured out. Now he was beginning to realize that he had been wrong.  
  
There was a soft knock on the door that made Grissom glance up from all the paperwork covering his desk. The first thing Grissom noticed was that Nick held the door open for Sara. Grissom didn't know if he had ever done that before, but he sure as hell noticed now. Maybe he was just paranoid and making things worse than they actually were.  
  
Sara glanced back at Nick, trying to show him that she wasn't comfortable at all. The way Grissom was staring at her made her feel like he was looking through to her soul, something she didn't think best at the time being. Nick just gave her a half-hearted shrug and sat down in one of the chairs facing Grissom and his desk. Sara slowly slid down into the chair next to him. Grissom cleared his throat and took a good glance at both of them. "Care to explain?" he asked.  
  
Sara nervously licked her lips. "What is there to explain?" Nick countered. Sara wasn't sure how things were going to turn out, but she didn't like the looks Nick and Grissom were giving each other. She wanted nothing more than to bolt from the room and not stop until she was safely locked in her Denali. A sudden headache took over her mind and Sara gave a small, unnoticeably wince at the sharp pain.  
  
"Let's all be adults here," Grissom chided. "I'm sure you are both aware of the policies and rules of this office. As CSIs, you are both required to follow certain guidelines of conduct."  
  
Nick wanted to bash his hand into Grissom's desk. They weren't new to the crime lab, they knew the rules. Nick had no idea why Grissom was bringing this up now, when shift was already over and they were allowed to be at home, having the night Nick had planned all day during court. Grissom was a guy, he should be able to understand how Nick was feeling. Of course, it was Grissom. And Grissom wasn't know for being particularly human, so maybe he wouldn't understand after all.  
  
"Why are you lecturing us on rules and guidelines?" Sara questioned. "We both have the rules memorized. Is that all you wanted to make sure of?" She was as anxious as Nick to get back to his place.  
  
"Maybe you both have forgotten then about a certain rule we have about inner-office dating. And that it isn't allowed between CSIs, at least not in Las Vegas," Grissom reminded them. Sara may have been seeing things, but she was sure that he was smiling at the fact.  
  
"You can't be serious, Grissom," Sara exclaimed calmly. "There is no rule about inner-office dating here. At besides, what makes you even think that Nick and I are even dating?"  
  
"Either make it stop," he cut her off before she could say another word, "or one of you is going to be transferred to day-shift. Do I make myself clear enough?" he questioned, glancing back at the papers on his desk so he wouldn't have to see the disappointment on Sara's face.  
  
There was an uncomfortable silence hanging in the air for what seemed like an eternity. Not being able to handle it, Sara jerked out of her chair, the legs of the chair screeching loudly against the titles on the floor. She yanked the office door open, pulling on it so hard that it slammed against the wall behind it. She stormed out of the room without saying a word to either man. Grissom didn't even look over his shoulder.  
  
Nick glanced over at his supervisor. He didn't even say a word. He wanted to, but he had no idea where he would start. His fingers drummed against his knee. He had the sudden urge to just take off after Sara, but he couldn't until he spoke his mind. "It's weird Grissom, that you would bring this rule up now," Nick commented.  
  
Grissom lifted his eyes from the paperwork he was pretending to read over. "I don't understand what you're implying, Nick. Would you care to explain a little more to me?" Grissom dared him.  
  
Nick stood up slowly. He had never defied or challenged Grissom before because never before had he had a reason. But with Sara, things were different. He knew how she had felt about Grissom and how Grissom had shunned her. They whole lab knew, even though they hadn't admitted it to Sara or Grissom, just like they hadn't admitted anything to anyone else. But Nick also knew that Grissom truly had feelings for Sara. He was now well aware of the look people got when thinking about her. "If things had been different between you and Sara," he started, "you wouldn't have even thought of bringing up this rule."  
  
"I don't like what you're suggesting, Nick," Grissom said, emotionless. Nick mumbled something under his breath before turning around and exiting the office. Grissom sighed and watched the second CSI to storm out of his office that night. Many times he had made different members of his team upset, but he had never made them livid with him before. What hurt Grissom the most was that Nick had challenged him about his own feelings about Sara. Grissom shook his head and looked back at all the papers. This was way he didn't like dealing with people. They actually had feelings to account for. 


	5. Changing

The Way It Is  
  
By: Anti Darth Ani  
  
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Chapter V - Changing  
  
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I'm back with chapter five. I'm glad everyone liked my Sara/Grissom bashing. I enjoyed writing it, only because I hate Grissom. Well, read on. You're in for a ride, that I promise!  
  
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Sara had pulled her Denali in the driveway behind Nick's Tahoe. She hated to admit it, but everything Grissom had mentioned about rules had gotten her thinking. She hated thinking about her relationships, because whenever she did, she managed to screw everything up and before she knew it, her relationship was over before she could even understand what she had done to piss her boyfriend off.  
  
Now, she sat on Nick's couch, staring at the exact place where the deck of cards had been placed a few months before during their game of strip poker. Sara moaned softly when his hands hit that perfect spot. Nick glanced up at her face, running his fingers over it again. Sara slightly groaned, leaning her head back against the pillow on the armrest. She was spread out on the couch, his fingers driving her mild. Nick grinned and then reached for the bottom. He traced over it, barely touching it, with his index finger. Sara giggled involuntarily. "Please stop," she laughed when he did it again.  
  
"Nick," she squealed when he repeated the maneuver again and again. Sara picked up the closest plush pillow and aimed it at him head, but before she had a chance to throw it at him, Nick leaned forward and grabbed it out of her hand. He simply threw it to the side, hoping it didn't land on any breakable furniture. Nick leaned down towards her face, "Yes?" he replied huskily.  
  
Sara's heart began to pound in her chest. Even though thoughts of what Grissom had said clouded her mind, the way Nick's actions made her react always took over everything else. "You know that spot it ticklish," she pouted. "You did that for fun," she accused. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled his body down flush against hers.  
  
"I gave you a foot massage like you asked, Sara," Nick responded, reaching behind her head and pulling her hair tie out so that her hair spilled around her head. He tangled one hand in her hair and brought her mouth to his. At first he barely brushed his lips against hers, but then her lips pressed against his in a desperate kiss. Once Nick started something with her, even something small, Sara couldn't control the desire inside of her.  
  
Nick quickly responded to her, just like always. Over the past two months, they had memorized every inch of each other. Nick knew all of the spots that drove Sara crazy, the sole of her foot, the little space between her back and her butt, behind her knees, and all the little sites that caused herself to lose herself. Sara also knew all of Nick's little places. After the first weeks, they didn't even worry about those spots anymore because the mere thought of them being together was enough. "On the couch?" Nick muttered against her lips. Sara grinned at the thought and nodded silently.  
  
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Sara's eyes slid open lazily. It took her a second to remember that she was sleeping on the couch. Sara shifted until she reached a better position. Fitting two people side by side on a couch was a difficult task. Nick's back was pressed tightly against the back of the couch. He held Sara securely around the waist, preventing her from falling off of the couch. Only about two thirds of her body was actually on the couch, the rest was hanging off. It was a little uncomfortable, but Sara didn't mind.  
  
She hadn't managed to sleep for more than an hour. After Nick had fallen asleep, she had stayed away for more than three hours, just thinking about what Grissom had lectured them on. She didn't want to let Nick know, but maybe there was a reason inner-office dating wasn't allowed. It was possible for them to compromise a scene. They almost had once or twice while working together. And Sara knew Grissom wouldn't let them work together if he knew they were still together. She loved what had transpired between them lately, but she didn't want to lose him as a friend. And she sure as hell didn't want to end up on day-shift. That was the last thing she needed.  
  
Sara wanted nothing more than to just close her eyes and forget all her problems for a while. Why couldn't she just lay there with Nick and not have to worry about any of these problems? Why did these things always haunt her until she did something about them? Sara sighed to herself, knowing that she could never make the right decision when she was forced to. Like now, for instance, she was ready to throw away everything she had with Nick just to make sure she was allowed to keep her job. She felt horrible about it, but that wasn't going to stop her.  
  
Although she wanted to get it over with, she couldn't bring herself to turn around and tell him. Maybe because there wasn't any room on the couch to turn around or maybe it was because she was too afraid to let him go. She had been alone for such a long time that having to say goodbye like this was going to kill her, especially since she had to see him every night at work anyway. Why did Grissom always happen to ruin everything good in her life?  
  
"Nick?" Sara called out softly. When he didn't answer, Sara sighed. Her timing for these types of things was always off, no matter how hard she tried to do them right. Sara decided she could go ahead and eat a light meal and let him sleep a little more before she discussed things with him. Sara shifted to move out of Nick's grasped, but when she moved away, his grip slightly tightened. Sara tried to roll away harder and when she did, she felt herself rolling completely off of the couch. If that wasn't bad enough, she ended up pulling Nick off with her.  
  
Sara landed on her stomach, Nick falling off on top of her, which just happened to wake him up. Sara groaned at the sudden fall and landing. "Will you please get off me?" she spat when he just froze. It took Nick a second, but he managed to pull himself together and stand up. He helped Sara to her feet. Not exactly what she had planned on, but things never came up like she hoped. She might as well just talk to him about it now and get things over with.  
  
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I know you most likely hate me by now because of what I'm doing, but I promise I won't let you down. Just keep reading and find out what's going to happen next. 


	6. Regret

The Way It Is  
  
By: Anti Darth Ani  
  
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Chapter VI - Regret  
  
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Hey, you all. I'm going to be using some lyrics and flashbacks in this chapter, so I want to take this time to go over that with you. Lyrics will be double spaced in between each line and will have a ----- at the beginning and end of them. Time breaks from past to more recent past will have a ---------- at the beginning. Flashbacks will have ---------- at the beginning and the end as well, so I hope you will be able to tell them apart. It can't be THAT hard. ;)  
  
Well…. If you didn't hate me in the last chapter, you are gonna now!!!!!! Thanks to all my wonderful readers and reviewers. Special thanks to Pretty Perfect, Freddie, Lonaargh, SistaSouljah, wannabelabrat, MissyJane, orangebronco, and sarasidle3! Your reviews make my day. I take all suggestions into consideration and I'll try to work some of the stuff into the chapters, so keep the ideas coming!  
  
P.S. the lyrics are from the song called Breathing by Yellowcard. They are a good band and I love the violin in most of the songs.  
  
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Sara wouldn't turn back. If she did, then she would have to face him again and he would see her tears. She was already starting to forget her words. What a horrible thing she had done, but deep down she thought it was the right thing to do. They would still be friends, they had promised that on their first night together.  
  
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Sara sighed and then took in a deep breath, catching his scent along with her air. She smiled to herself and kissed the bare skin of his chest that she was facing. In return, Nick ran his hand slowly up and down her back.  
  
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Eyes are feeling heavy but they never seem to close  
  
The fan blades on the ceiling spin but the air is never cold  
  
And even though you're next to me I still feel so alone  
  
I just can't give you anything for you to call your own  
  
-----  
  
"God," Sara muttered, "that was truly amazing." Nick chuckled at her comment and tightened his grip on her, pulling her naked body closer to his. Sara pulled her head back a few inches to glance at his face, only to realize that his own eyes were looking back at her. Sara gave him a sweet smile and then pushed her body up the sheets until her mouth was level with his. Nick kissed the end of her nose before bringing his lips down to her in a fiery kiss.  
  
-----  
  
And I can feel you breathing and it's keeping me awake  
  
Can you feel it beating my heart sinking like a weight  
  
-----  
  
"I must admit," Sara told him when they reluctantly pulled away from each, "that I've never had quite that much fun before." Nick grinned and shook his head slightly. He wasn't sure how they had gone from playing a safe game of poker to ending up in each others arms in his bed. Admittedly, the poker was strip poker, but when he had invited Sara over and they had started the game, he hadn't expected anything like what they had just done.  
  
-----  
  
Something I've been keeping locked away behind my lips  
  
I can feel it breaking free with each and every kiss  
  
I couldn't bare to hurt you but it's all so different now  
  
Things that I was sure of they have filled me up with doubt  
  
-----  
  
"What are we doing to do about this?" Sara wondered aloud after a while of comfortable silence. Things like this never happened to her, not in a million years. Nick was the last person she had expected to end up with. Well, that wasn't totally true. For almost three years, they had flirted constantly and she had thought about them together once or twice, or maybe a few more times, but never had she imagined it would actually happen. While looking over him again, Sara smiled to herself. She wasn't sorry for what they had just done, although she had to admit it would change things between them.  
  
-----  
  
And I can feel you breathing and it's keeping me awake  
  
Can you feel it beating my heart sinking like a weight  
  
-----  
  
"Do we have to do anything at all?" Nick responded, rolling over onto his back and pulling her along with him so that she rested on his chest comfortably. Sara leaned her head dangerously close to his, "Of course we have to do something."  
  
-----  
  
I can feel you breathing, it's keeping me awake  
  
Could you stop my heart it's always  
  
Beating, sinking like a weight  
  
-----  
  
"Well then," Nick answered in mock seriousness, "I guess we could just have sex all over again. Would that satisfy you need to do something?" he asked, running his hands down her back to rest just above her butt. Sara tried not to smile, but it was nearly impossible in the position she was in. She had a feeling she wasn't going to get any sleep before shift the next night. Not that it bothered her too much, that was why they had invited coffee.  
  
-----  
  
How am I supposed to feel about the things I've done  
  
I don't know if I should stay or turn around and run  
  
I know that I hurt you, things will never be to same  
  
The only love I ever knew I threw it all away  
  
-----  
  
"Just promise me something," Sara whispered, using her palms on his chest to keep herself slightly off of him. She knew what he was staring at and a slight blush crept onto her cheeks. He didn't seem to notice that she had said a word at all. "Nick?" Sara whispered in an even softer voice, trying to get an answer out of him.  
  
-----  
  
And I can feel you breathing and it's keeping me awake  
  
Can you feel it beating my heart sinking like a weight  
  
-----  
  
"Promise me this won't change things between us. I still want us to remain friends, whether this continues or not." Nick was surprised by her words. His eyes shot up to her face and he searched them thoroughly, another small grin coming across his face, "Are you suggesting that we're going to be doing this again?" he asked, a hint of expectation in his voice. Sara glared down at his eyes and Nick sighed, "I promise." And with that, Sara brought his mouth back to hers.  
  
----------  
  
Thinking back to that night, Sara wanted to just turn back around and fall into his arm, never leaving them again. Nick had always offered her safety and security and she was throwing that all away. Maybe because she still had feelings for Grissom? She wasn't sure, but she didn't think that was the answer. She knew she didn't have feelings for him anymore. One rejection was enough for her to get the picture. Even if he had admitted he had feelings for her, Sara wasn't going to waste anymore time following him around while he made up his damn mind.  
  
-----  
  
I can feel you breathing, it's keeping me awake  
  
Could you stop my heart it's always  
  
Beating, sinking like a weight  
  
-----  
  
Sara got into her SUV and immediately pulled out of the driveway, burning rubber. Nick watched her leave from his living room window. He had taken things fairly well, considering the bomb she had dropped onto his head. He hadn't seen that coming. Maybe she was still hooked on Grissom. Whatever the reason, Nick didn't want to hear it. People could always think of an excuse, but they hardly ever told the truth.  
  
As Sara drove on down the street, a few more tears fell before she could stop them. Stupid emotions, she thought to herself. They were what had brought her to this spot in the first place. She hadn't realized that she might have actually had feelings for Nick. At first, it had just seemed like a little fun before two friends. But now she realized the truth. She loved him. And it was going to kill her to have to be around him all the time at work.  
  
Sara tried to jerk the SUV to a stop. A dark car was stopped in the middle of the street that she couldn't see until she was on top of it. The last thing she thought before the impact was at least she was wearing her seatbelt.  
  
----------  
  
She didn't remember calling 911. Her cell phone was still open, disconnected but open, when she heard someone calling her name. The first person who came to her mind was Nick, but when she managed to open her eyes, she definitely didn't see Nick. Sara took a double take at the man opening her SUV door. She saw that the hood of the front of the vehicle had popped up on impact and the front windshield had shattered.  
  
Sudden pain filled her right temple. Had she been cut? Was she bleeding to death? Panic overcame her. "Fucking airbag," Sara muttered, slamming her hand against the steering wheel, hitting the horn that the airbag was behind. At soon at her fist smacked the horn, the white airbag exploded in her face. The force of the pressure pushed Sara back against her chair.  
  
The man punctured the airbag and waited for it to deflate. Sara cursed under her breath. When she could see the front windshield again, he turned to face her, "Are you ok?" he asked.  
  
Sara glared at him. "You haven't changed one bit, Hank," she sneered. "Of course I'm fine," she answered sarcastically. "My vehicle is totaled, I have this damn bag exploding AFTER the accident, and I'm bleeding out of my mind. Of course I'm okay." Men were such idiots.  
  
----------  
  
Surprised? I sure hope so. I threw you in for a loop there. If you want to know how things turn out, then you MUST read on! I WILL update soon, I promise!!!! 


	7. Interference

The Way It Is  
  
By: Anti Darth Ani  
  
----------  
  
Chapter VII - Interference  
  
----------  
  
She pretended like she didn't feel the pain. She really hadn't at first, but once he started bandaging her head up, the rubbing alcohol he was pouring onto the wounds made her want to kill him. Well, Sara Sidle had other reasons for wanting to kill Hank other than just that one, but she only needed one excuse, at least for now. The last thing she needed was for her SUV to be totaled by a car that wasn't even moving. She would have to pay for the repairs because it was mostly her fault.  
  
"Fucking airbag," she muttered again when he swabbed another cut with alcohol. The burning sensation didn't want to stop. She sat on the stretcher and looked at the victim in the other car, who hadn't been as lucky as Sara. According to Hank, who wasn't the most reliable source, the teenager had been dead for a while, so Sara wasn't going to be charged with manslaughter or any other crimes. Which was good, because the last thing Sara needed was more time to think, especially since it was in jail.  
  
"Really, Hank do you have to do this? I do believe that you've caused me enough hurt for this lifetime. Do you have to add to it by burning me to hell?" Sara sneered. Hank finished with the last bandage and took a step back so he could observe her.  
  
Sara stood up, swaying a little before catching her balance. She suddenly had the urge to talk to Grissom. She wasn't quite sure way, but just the idea made her feel a little better. God, she thought to herself, am I really this pathetic? Thinking about Grissom right now? "I thought we were past that, Sara," Hank commented.  
  
Sara stared at him in amazement. "How dense can you be?" she asked. "You were using me on the side, Hank. That's not the kind of thing we can get past. Besides, I really don't think this is the time to be discussing this."  
  
"Well, you can't go anywhere until the rental car place picks you up, so now is a perfect time to talk about it. How many times can I apologize to you, Sara? I must have let twenty messages on your machine, telling you that I had broken up with her and that I wanted to see you again," Hank pressed. "I've really missed you and I've wanted to try to work things out with you."  
  
Sara crossed her arms over her chest. She wasn't comfortable talking to Hank. All she wanted to do was go back to her apartment, have a beer or two to unwind, and fall asleep until she was needed at the lab. Knowing Grissom, he wasn't going to let her work until all her cuts were healed. "Please don't drag me back into this, Hank. I figured after the fifth message you would quit. It took you twenty to realize that I wasn't going to call you back. That was nineteen too many."  
  
"I really don't understand why you hate me so much," Hank pointed out. Sara took a moment to look over him. He looked the same as he had when he had confronted her on if she had kept their relationship a secret. Something had torn in her that night, she wasn't quite sure why. He was adorable, which his spiky hair and his soft eyes. Sara could already feel herself falling for him again, against her wishes. Falling for Hank again was the last thing on her mind.  
  
Sara never had successful relationships. Something always happened to prevent her from being happy. In high school and college, Sara rarely dated and she never had a serious boyfriend. She didn't date while she was in the LA crime lab and things had only gotten worse since she had been transferred to Las Vegas. Hank had been her first real boyfriend and that had ended horribly. Soon after their breakup, Grissom had rejected her proposal for a date. He had admitted, not knowing she had heard, that he did have feelings for her, but they weren't important enough to get in the way of his job.  
  
With Nick, things had been different. He didn't seem to matter if it interfered with his job because he never let it. Sara had been happy for those brief months with him because he took the pressures off of every. Now that was gone and why? Because of one little rule Grissom happened to bring up. She hated not knowing her true feelings for Grissom.  
  
"I hate you so much, Hank, because you lied and deceived and then when it was all said and done, you didn't care about me until it suited your needs. But I really don't want to get into this with you. Won't you please just drop it? This is not the place to discuss this issue," Sara pleaded. Why did the men she date always have to make things so complicated? Sara didn't get it.  
  
"Fine, then, Sara. Meet me at Applebee's tonight at eight and we'll discuss it then," Hank rebutted. Sara looked at him like he was crazy. Did he seriously think she was going to go out and eat with him after everything he'd put her through? By the way he was looking at her, Sara imagined that he did.  
  
Sara sighed and ran one hand through her hair. She was having the morning from hell. First, the huge breakup with Nick that she couldn't get off her mind. Then she had wrecked her only vehicle, so now she was stuck with Hank, who was suddenly asking her out on a date to talk about a relationship they didn't have. "Come on," Hank urged, "you do have to eat, Sara."  
  
Sara thought about it. She did hate being alone. On the other hand, it was Hank. The one man who had solely made the past year the worst of her entire life. What was happening to her? If that teenage girl hadn't died in her car, Sara would have killed her for making her go through all of this. "Fine," Sara whispered.  
  
Hank grinned widely at her. When Sara saw this, all she could see was an image of Nick grinning at her. Sara closed her eyes and then opened them again; luckily, the image of him was gone. What the hell had she gotten herself into? 


	8. Believe

The Way It Is  
  
By: Anti Darth Ani  
  
----------  
  
Chapter VIII - Believe  
  
----------  
  
Hello everyone. Once again, thanks to all my readers and reviewers. I think I was insulted by CSI watcher. I'm not quite sure, but I do believe so. [Um… I DO watch the show…] Oh well, at long as the majority of you like it, I'll keep writing it. I'm writing instead of studying for finals…  
  
----------  
  
Sara looked at her reflection in the mirror. Why was she worrying about what she was going to wear? It was Hank. She didn't have to look nice or impress him anymore because she wasn't dating him anymore. Sara realized she hadn't spent this much on her image even when she was dating Hank. Sara finally just put on a pair of comfortable jeans and a white tank top.  
  
Why was she throwing gasoline into the fire? The whole situation of her life was a wreck and she wasn't making it any better. Maybe she should just cancel on him. Then she wouldn't have to worry about it anymore. As her stomach rumbled, Sara changed her mind. She needed to eat. This thing with Hank wasn't even a date. It was simply her going out to talk over things with a guy while she ate.  
  
Then again, as Sara look at her reflection in the mirror, she noticed that she had tried very hard on her outfit. Why did she care what she was going to wear? Nothing was going to happen with Hank if she didn't want it to. The whole situation seemed ridiculous to her and Sara just wanted it to stop.  
  
Sara sighed and slumped onto the edge of her bed. Did she know what she was getting herself into? No, she had no idea. But she seriously doubted things could get any worse. Sara stood back up and slipped her black boots on.  
  
When she reached for her keys off the kitchen counter, Sara recalled the conversation she had had with Grissom over the phone. Like she had expected, Grissom insisted she stay home until all her cuts and bruises were gone. He had actually sounded somewhat worried about her, but Sara believed it to be artificial. Grissom was just not an emotional person.  
  
----------  
  
Sara wasn't ready to see him again. But as she walked into the dimly lit restaurant, she immediately saw him standing against the far wall, searching the crowds of people for her. Sara let her chest tighten and for a moment all she wanted to do was turn around and split. She didn't owe him anything, she could leave without an explanation and not feel sorry about it.  
  
Just as she was about to turn around and walk out the door, Hank spotted her. He stood up and briskly walked over to greet her, a grin spread across his face. Damn it, Sara thought. She was stuck with him now. Sara did her best to smile, hopping he would think it was sincere when she knew it wasn't.  
  
Sara let him pull her to the table the waitress was leading them to. Sara couldn't help notice the way Hank was looking at the waitress. Sara shook her head to herself. He was gawking over the waitress and she knew it. How had she even for a spilt second thought that maybe, just maybe, he had changed. Guys like Hank never changed, they always stayed players. Nothing would change that.  
  
Sara made sure she sat in the booth across from him. She didn't want to sit next to him and allow him the opportunity of getting too close to her. They were seated in the last booth in the row, Sara noticed. Behind her, a hallway led to the kitchen and the bathrooms. She also spotted a bright red EXIT sign with an arrow pointing in that direction. If things went too bad, she could excuse herself to the bathroom and then just leave.  
  
The waitress smiled brightly and introduced herself, handing each one of them a plastic menu. Sara observed that when the waitress handed the menu to Hank, she leaned down a little further than she had to, showing Hank some of the cleavage that was busting out of her top. It took all of Sara's control not to give the waitress a crude remark.  
  
Stupid, she thought of herself as she glanced over the menu. Hank was still Hank, he hadn't changed a bit. She would never be enough for him, just a little distraction to fool around with on the weekends. Sara skimmed the menu until she found a salad that look worthy of her growling stomach. She doubted that he even remembered she was a vegetarian, considering he had brought her to a steak house.  
  
The waitress was back in a flash, wanting to know what they wanted to drink. If she keep it up all night, there was the slight chance that Sara wouldn't even have to talk to Hank and she would be able to get out of the restaurant without any harm done.  
  
After she ordered a glass of water with lemon, she continued to point her attention to the menu. Hank kept looking at her and Sara felt his gaze on her. She just ignored him until finally he pulled the menu out of her hands and set it face down on the table.  
  
"So how have you been lately?" Hank struck up a conversion. "I haven't seen you in a while," Hank reminded her. Only because you didn't want to, Sara added to herself. She shifted uneasily in the booth, trying to decide what to say. She already knew she was going to lie, because she didn't want to bring up her situation with Nick.  
  
"Work's been hectic," Sara responded after careful thought. Sure, let him think that she was stuck on her work again. That nothing important had happened in her life. Make him see that she didn't need a man in her life to keep herself together.  
  
The conversion continued slowly through drinks and the meal. Hank kept throwing out questions and Sara would answer them with the least amount of words possible. The less she had to say, the better she felt about the situation.  
  
Sara was in the middle of taking a bite of her salad, which she had almost finished, when a pair of hands covered her eyes. Sara was startled at first, jumping a little in the booth. "Guess who?" the voice whispered behind her. Sara felt her heart sink.  
  
----------  
  
I wasn't planning on ending it here. I was going to continue and tell you who it was, but I think it'll be more fun to make you wait to find out. I do promise to update ASAP so that you're not freaking out about it or anything… 


	9. Crazy

The Way It Is  
  
By: Anti Darth Ani  
  
----------  
  
Chapter IX - Crazy  
  
----------  
  
Lyrics are by Something Corporate. They are to the song, Break Myself. Hope you enjoy!!!!  
  
----------  
  
Sara's heart fell to the pit of her stomach. She didn't even want to guess who it was, because if it was who she thought it was, she would have to kill herself. She heard Hank laugh and then great the mystery man behind her.  
  
Warrick.  
  
-----  
  
I'm on fire  
  
And the day is feeling hopeless  
  
You'd see me burning but the burning's turning smokeless  
  
Soon I won't feel at all, no  
  
-----  
  
Oh, thank God! Sara thought to herself. Sara smiled when he pulled his hands away and Warrick slid into the booth next to her. Sara wanted to kiss him right then. Her one and only savior. She was just hoping he would be able to stay until she could get out of there. Sara glanced at her watch. It was already nine fifteen and shift started in forty minutes. She knew that Warrick wasn't going to be staying long.  
  
Oh well, at least he was here for now. And that was a start. "Hey, Warrick," Sara finally managed to say. Warrick raised an eyebrow at her and she gave him a desperate look. Maybe he would notice she was drowning and help give her an excuse to get the hell out of there.  
  
-----  
  
It's electric the neon hurt inside your phone call  
  
The layered sadness and the madness it revolves  
  
Bringing down the walls where you found her, no  
  
-----  
  
"I was just stopping by to speak to a friend of mine who works here," Warrick told her. "I saw you and I figured I might as well came say hi. I must say, you look like crap," Warrick grinned as he said this.  
  
Sara smiled despite herself, "That's what happens when your airbags don't work. You get all cut and scraped up nice and good. It's good to see a familiar face again though. Grissom's cut me off from the lab until he's sure I'm all better." She focused all her attention away from Hank to Warrick.  
  
-----  
  
Well, I'm willing to break myself  
  
To shake this hell from everything I touch  
  
I'm willing to bleed for days my... reds and grays  
  
So you don't hurt so much  
  
-----  
  
As soon as it had started, it was over. Warrick explained that he needed to go ahead and get to the crime lab. He was in the middle of an important case and he needed to get cracking on it. Sara nodded lifelessly and watched him walk away in slow motion. So much for saving me, Sara thought. Now she would actually have to talk to Hank. Never a good thing in her experience.  
  
The waitress came and picked up Sara's empty salad bowl. Hank watched her figure as she slowly walked away, shaking her hips in a sexy manner the whole way. Sara cleared her throat to get his attention and when that didn't work, Sara just picked up her half full glass of water and tossed it at his face.  
  
-----  
  
And now I'm static  
  
As your sky is turning purple and gray  
  
I'm learning that the further that I crawl  
  
The farther that I fall, is that ok? No  
  
-----  
  
Sara wasn't sure what shocked him more. The fact that she had done or how cold the water was. Whichever one it was, Sara didn't really care. He had had his eyes open, so she knew he had lemon juice in his eyes. And that was a bitch. Served him right for looking at someone else while he was supposed to be discussing a relationship with her.  
  
-----  
  
And you're in pieces   
  
As your world becomes a rainstorm  
  
You've got no shelter I'm a thousand miles away  
  
If you survive the day  
  
-----  
  
Sara stood up and walked away from the table, never once looking back. She didn't feel bad about leaving the check with him. The date was, after all, his idea. And he was the one who had ruined it.  
  
----------  
  
Warrick walked into the lab that night, still frowning. He had been frowning ever since he had spotted Sara sitting there with Hank, and it appeared to be a date, at the steak house. He was a little confused as to her reasons why she was even going out with him again, but he hadn't dared ask in front of Hank.  
  
When Warrick walked into the break room, Nick was already standing by the coffee machine, staring down at the black junk in his Styrofoam cup that the brand called coffee. Nick looked up at Warrick when he heard the door open. Nick nodded his head slightly in greeting and Warrick just grinned. "Man, have I got the weirdest news ever," he said without missing a beat.  
  
Nick sighed and took a sip of the coffee. He tried not to choke, but it was hard. He ended up just throwing the cup, still full of the crap, into the plastic trashcan. "This is Vegas, Warrick. Almost everything here is weird."  
  
"Yeah, I know. But not all the weird stuff in Las Vegas has to do with Sara," Warrick mentioned. Nick's head snapped up at her name, but he tried to remain cool, "What about her?" he asked calmly as if he didn't really care.  
  
"I saw her before break," Warrick said, pausing for a minute to be more dramatic. "And she was out with Hank." 


	10. Desperate

The Way It Is  
  
By: Anti Darth Ani  
  
----------  
  
Chapter X - Desperate  
  
----------  
  
Only two more chapters after this. This chapter is dedicated to all my die hard Sara/Nick fans who are still with me, through everything I've already put you through. I'm sure you'll appreciate it by the end. Or at least I sure hope so.  
  
By the by, this chapter starts a week after the last chapter, meaning Nick's known about Sara and Hank for a week. Just thought you should know!  
  
----------  
  
Sara sat in her SUV, staring straight ahead. The vehicle had been turned off for a good ten minutes, but Sara couldn't force herself to get out and just go into the building. It had been a week since she had been in there and she didn't know how he was going to act. Hell, she didn't even know if he knew about her date.  
  
Even on the darkest nights, Vegas was lit from the ground to the sky with all the numerous lights the casinos used to lure people, like bugs to the lights. Sara stared at the building, trying to work up the courage to just go in and work. She was going to be late if she didn't and Grissom wouldn't be too happy.  
  
Why did she even care, she wondered. Even if Warrick had told him, Sara shouldn't have even cared. Sara opened the SUV door, glad to have her old vehicle back again, looking the same before the crash. She slipped her bag over her shoulder and shut the door, locking it with her automatic key ring.  
  
Sara walked briskly through the front door, trying not to stop for anyone or anything. She just wanted to make it to the locker room with seeing him. If she could make it to the locker room, then there was a possibility that Grissom would put them on different cases and she wouldn't have to confront him. She was going to have to ask Warrick if he had mentioned what he saw to Nick. Sara hoped Warrick wouldn't ask why.  
  
Opening the locker room door, Sara's heart fell when she saw Nick standing at his locker, clipping his ID tag to his shirt. When she let the door close behind her, he looked up. Sara saw a flicker of emotion on his face, but it was quickly replaced by his regular grin, "Hey," he barely whispered.  
  
Sara forced herself to walk over to her locker next to his. She opened it and stuffed her bag in. Pulling out her ID tag and seeing Nick stealing glances at her, she couldn't help but remember the first night back at work after their game of strip poker. Sara hadn't been able to stop smiling and while waiting on Greg to process an important piece of DNA for their case, Nick had pulled her into the locker room. The left side of Sara's mouth formed a smile at the memory of the first time they had made out in the locker room.  
  
Sara shut the locker door, only to find that Nick had left and Warrick was walking in. Sara leaned back against the lockers and sighed, crossing her arms over her chest. How had she let things get so screwed up? Had she really let her past feelings for Grissom mess everything else up?  
  
Warrick glanced over at her, "You look like you're feeling better," Warrick commented, trying to lighten the mood, even if that wasn't what he thought. Sara groaned and closed her eyes. She wanted to rewind back to the locker room and just pull away from Nick so Grissom wouldn't have known. She couldn't help but blame things on him.  
  
"I've been better," Sara muttered, turning to face him. "Do you believe that smart people can be really stupid at times?" she asked. Maybe everything in the past week had been a mistake. She had sat in her apartment, staring at the only picture she had of her and Nick together. There was always the little cloud of doubt that things between them would eventually end, but Sara wasn't ready for that. Not yet.  
  
Warrick chuckled, "The smart people are the ones who tend to screw up the worst." Warrick gave her a questioning glance, "Why do you ask?"  
  
Sara shook her head, "No reason," she replied, heading out of the locker room to get to a busy night of work to take her mind off of Nick.  
  
----------  
  
Nick glanced at the clock on his VCR. It was already five in the morning. He was drained from work, even though the case he had worked with Catherine had been cut and dry, a simple robbery with a criminal who wasn't too smart. He had left as soon as shift had ended, but he couldn't manage to talk himself into sleeping.  
  
His nights had all seemed to be this way lately. No matter what he did, whatever he tried, he hated getting in his bed all alone now. Whether he liked to admit it or not, he missed having Sara with him, in a sexual way or not, it didn't matter. Just having her to talk with and joke around with made him fill more complete.  
  
When Warrick had told him he had spotted her with Hank, he had felt something he had never felt before. He wasn't sure what it was, but he knew he was at least a little bit jealous. He couldn't explain any of this to anyone, because no one knew what had happened between him and Sara except Grissom. And Grissom only knew the tip of the iceberg. Nick wasn't about to talk about Sara with Grissom. He valued his life.  
  
----------  
  
Sara yawned, walking down the main corridor of the crime lab. After working a double shift, she was ready to go home and fall into her comfortable bed, or couch, which ever one she could get to first would be better. She did have to have a small discussion with someone first before she could leave, though. Warrick had just left and Sara was happy that not many other people we in the lab. That made things easier for her.  
  
Sara knocked on his door and didn't wait for a response before opening it and stepping inside. She made sure the door closed tightly, just in case other members of the night shift haven't left yet. Grissom looked up from his desk, pulling off his glasses to look at her. "Do you need something, Sara?" he asked.  
  
Sara walked up to his desk and leaned forward, placing her hands on his desk to balance her weight. "Why do you even care?" she asked him. She needed answers. Just a few to some questions that had been bouncing around in her head since the accident.  
  
"Do you mean about you getting in that car crash?" Grissom asked, not quite sure what she was getting at.  
  
Sara shook her head. "No, I'm not talking about the car crash."  
  
Grissom looked down at the piles of paperwork he needed to do before looking back up at her. "I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about then."  
  
Sara sighed and tried to calm down a little. She could already see her fingers around his neck, strangling him because he was so stupid at times. "About Nick," she clarified. "Why did you even have to bother with that, Gris? Couldn't you have just left it be without feeling the urge to butt in?"  
  
Grissom felt like he had been slapped in the face. He didn't even realize that she would have been relating to her relationship with Nick. He knew something had changed because they rarely spoke to each other during shift. "Rules are rules, Sara. You and Nick both know that. I thought you should make sure you knew what you were getting into."  
  
"I did know, Grissom. I knew what I was doing, and then you do that thing you always do. You planted a seed of doubt in my mind because you knew I'd go running. What? Did you think it was your job to make sure I wasn't happy? Why do you always to this?"  
  
"I didn't know I bothered you so much," Grissom replied, an icy coldness to his voice. He put his glasses back on and looked back down at his paperwork. "Would it make you feel better if I apologized?" Grissom asked, not paying much attention to her.  
  
"No, Grissom, it won't make me FEEL better," Sara snapped, truly annoyed. "Apologizes are just words." That sounded faintly familiar to Grissom. "You may be good with words, but you suck with emotions. Sometimes I wonder if you even have any." With that, Sara turned on her heels and left. That didn't sound so familiar. 


	11. Birthday

The Way It Is  
  
By: Anti Darth Ani  
  
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Chapter XI - Birthday  
  
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Sara woke up breathing sharply. Another nightmare, just like all the other nights when she couldn't sleep. She would drift off and then awaken suddenly with the feeling that someone was watching, although no one ever was. The dreams had stopped during the short time she had spent with Nick, but now they were back and they had been the past few nights.  
  
Sara had the strong urge to just call him out of the blue. She knew she never would, but the thought of hearing him calmly talking to her, maybe as if nothing had happened, helped her settle back down in bed. The thought that it would have been better if they had never ended up together never crossed her mind. Being with Nick had been the best thing in her life, even if it had ended horribly.  
  
They had promised that if things hadn't worked out that they would still be friends. As Sara pulled the blankets back up close to her body, she knew they had been joking. After being with him, laying in his bed dozens of nights, Sara could never imagine looking at him again in the same way she had before.  
  
Sleepiness pulled her back into the bed, her eyes finally closed. She had just drifted off when the phone started to ring. She didn't even hear it.  
  
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Sara woke up the next afternoon, feeling better. She hadn't had another nightmare when she had finally managed to fall back asleep. She yawned and quickly changed into the first clothes she could get her hands on. She never really cared about what she wore to work. She had at the beginning, when she had tried to impress Grissom, but Grissom never even noticed, so she had given up.  
  
Sara was surprised when she walked through the living room to the kitchen to eat a light meal. The number on her answering machine was blinking one, indicating someone had left a message after she had fallen asleep the previous morning.  
  
After a moment's hesitation, Sara hit the play button. Sara smiled to herself when she heard Nick's comforting voice fill the empty apartment. All Sara managed to get out of the message was that he wanted her to come over to his place after work. He wanted a chance to talk to her away from all of their coworkers.  
  
Sara wasn't sure what this message meant, but she felt a small sliver of hope fill her heart. Things may work out with Nick after all.  
  
----------  
  
Work was long and tedious, never ending in the cases they always had to solve. Sara, Catherine, and Grissom had worked on the case of a dead toddler, but it ended up being an accidental drowning. Sara didn't know which was worse - parents killing their own children on purpose or their children dying because their parents had neglected them. Neither was very comforting.  
  
Sara wasn't quite sure what Warrick and Nick had been working on, but Sara didn't really care either. She was slightly disappointed that she hadn't seen Nick at all that shift. She had been hoping to bump into him so she could casually bring up the message he had left on her machine. She decided she would just have to show up at his house and hope for the best.  
  
Sara pulled her tote bag out of her locker and replaced her ID card. She had to admit that she was a little nervous about just showing up at his house, but she couldn't help hoping for the best. Maybe things would go smoothly and since Warrick had told him about her date with Hank, she might get a chance to explain it to him. To tell him that it didn't mean anything to her. Hank meant nothing to her. But Nick did.  
  
Sara closed her locker door and slipped her bag onto her shoulder, heading out to her car. Double shifts always wore her out and she was already close to her maximum limit of overtime for the month. She hadn't gotten much sleep lately because of her nightmares and she was ready to fall asleep.  
  
As Sara made her way to her SUV, she decided she could go to her apartment and change, maybe grab a quick bite to eat if anything in her refrigerator was any good, and then head over to Nick's house. She didn't want to call him when she got home because she didn't want to face if it he changed his mind.  
  
Sara slipped into the Denali and turned it on. She backed out of the parking lot and drove home with the radio playing softly in the background. She tried to never get into the music while driving, especially since the accident. She didn't want anything that could even slightly distract her. Another encounter with Hank would possibly kill her this time.  
  
Sara arrived at home in record time. Quickly, she hopped out and locked it. Fumbling with her keys to find the one to the front door, Sara walked briskly up to the main hall. She opened the door and walked in, then unlocked the second door. It clicked and then Sara opened it and hurried into the sitting room on the main floor. Sara decided to take the stairs because she was on the second floor and the elevator took way too long to operate.  
  
When Sara finally made it into her apartment, after taking the stairs two at a time, she unlocked the front door and flipped the light switch on. Her apartment looked the same as it had when she had left it only a little while ago. She wasn't sure if that was a bad thing or a good thing. She would think and worry about that a little later.  
  
Rummaging through her fridge, she didn't find anything that looked even remotely eatable. She threw away all the Chinese take-out containers into her main trash can by the kitchen bar. Sara checked her messages on the way to her bedroom, not surprised that a solid zero appeared on the LCD. Maybe she did need more of a life outside of work.  
  
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Sara stared at the front door in front of her face. Something didn't seem right to her. Maybe it was because the whole house was dark, or maybe something else she just couldn't place. She thought about leaving and calling, telling him she hadn't been able to make it, but what if he had seen her SUV parked in his driveway? Then what would she tell him?  
  
Sara took a deep breath and knocked on the front door. To make sure he heard her, she also rang the doorbell. She didn't want to appear anxious, but she was. Very. She waited for a minute or two, thinking this whole thing was ridiculous. It was three in the morning and she was at Nick's house, in hopes of talking things out with him.  
  
The door opened and Nick stood there. Sara looked at him questioningly, but he didn't say a word. He started to, but found it better to just keep his mouth shut. Sara couldn't find anything to say. She just needed to find one thing to say, one word to start a conversion with him. Do anything but just stand on his front step and act like an idiot.  
  
The lights inside the house suddenly flicked on and Sara noticed that Nick hadn't touched anything. His eyes were staring into hers and Sara could see the hurt in them. Her heart sank when all of the night crew appeared in the living room and yelled 'Surprise'. She barely heard any of this, and neither of them moved. They both just stood frozen, staring at each other.  
  
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Only one more chapter that I have to write and upload. It's going to be good, so hang in there just a little bit longer!!! 


	12. Love

The Way It Is  
  
By: Anti Darth Ani  
  
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Chapter XII - Love  
  
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My last chapter of this wonderful little fan-fic of mine. I do sincerely hope that you all have enjoyed it. Your reviews and feedback have helped and I'm glad to hear that you all have liked my fan-fic. Watch out for more CSI fan-fics by me coming soon, I promise.  
  
I'm sorry to say it, but this is the end. So here we go!!!!!!!  
  
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Everyone from the night shift was at Nick's house, Sara soon found out. They had all hidden, like the classic surprise party, and jumped out once someone turned the light on. Grissom, who no one could force to hide, and simply stood against the wall and flicked the light switch once the door had opened. After the collective 'Surprise' they all had shouted together in celebration, they were stunned when Sara didn't even seem to notice.  
  
Sara tried to search Nick's face for any sign of happiness, but all she could find was he clenched jaw and eyes, which showed no emotion Sara could detect. She slowly looked past him to all her friends, standing up around the living room. A small grin spread across her face as Warrick stepped around Nick and pulled Sara into the room to start the party.  
  
How could she had forgotten it was her own birthday? Work had kept her so busy lately, along with her screwed up social life. Sara realized that she had truly forgotten her own birthday. Warrick pulled her into the living room and pulled her down onto the couch. Nick slowly closed the door and turned around to face everyone else who was in his house.  
  
He couldn't really remember why he had agreed to have the party at his house. Grissom was the one who suggested it, and that right there was a major red flag. Grissom knew something had happened between them and Nick had the feeling that this was all a set-up. But he decided not to say anything in case it would cause an argument. He didn't want to ruin Sara's special night.  
  
Catherine came out of the kitchen carrying a large cake. Sara gasped and then started to laugh when Catherine brought it over and set it down on the coffee table. Greg was coming in behind her, carrying a lighter. He started lighting all the candles on the top of the cake when Catherine set it down. Sara started counting all the candles out loud and laughed again when she reached 21.  
  
"There's my birthday wish right there. I want to be 21 again. You guys make me feel so young again," Sara smiled as she talked comfortably with her friends. Every once and a while she would eye Nick, but he was never looking back at her. It seemed a little odd to rest of the night crew, because it was Sara's birthday and it seemed like he was avoiding Sara.  
  
This thought was forgotten when Warrick started singing happy birthday and the rest of the night shift joined in. Sara laughed and buried her head into her hands, embarrassed. Warrick wrapped an arm around her shoulders and swayed her side to side with him to the horrible sound of the entire night shift singing. When the song was over, Sara slid her hands off her face and looked at the cake.  
  
During the song, she had been laughing so hard it had made tears form in her eyes. Her face was slightly redder than usual, and Sara couldn't stop cracking up. All of her friends were laughing with her and Sara suddenly felt love fill her. Her friends loved her and cared for her. They'd even sing for her. Sara wiped away the water in her eyes and tried to catch her breath. Nick had a faint grin on his face, but Sara could tell he was uncomfortable. She still wanted, no needed, to talk to him, but she didn't want to with everyone else around.  
  
"Go on and make a wish," Archie told her, glancing from her to the cake. Sara knew that most likely they were all hungry, since they would have had to come straight from work. Sara nodded and looked at the cake. What was she supposed to wish for? She had no idea. Well, she did have an idea but wishing on a bunch of candles wasn't going to get her any closer to Nick.  
  
So Sara didn't make a wish. Closing her eyes, she blew out the candles and that was that. Her friends clapped and then they all broke into laughter. Greg handed a beer to Warrick and then one to Sara. Sara smiled at him and thanked him before taking a gulp. Catherine made her way over to the CD player and hit the play button. The music started to fill the room and Catherine pulled Warrick over to start dancing.  
  
-----  
  
I was so high I did not recognize  
  
The fire burning in her eyes  
  
The chaos that controlled my mind  
  
Whispered goodbye and she got on a plane  
  
Never to return again  
  
But always in my heart  
  
-----  
  
Sara smiled as she watched her friends dancing. Greg pulled her up to dance, but the last thing Sara felt like doing was dancing. She told Greg this and he just shrugged, letting her know he wasn't too disappointed. He started walking around the room, trying to get a conga line started. Warrick and Catherine joined in and then Catherine pulled Archie in. They started walking around the room like a bunch of kids, but they were having fun.  
  
-----  
  
This love has taken its toll on me  
  
She said goodbye too many times before  
  
And her heart is breaking in front of me  
  
I have no choice cause I won't say goodbye anymore  
  
-----  
  
Sara couldn't help laughing at them softly. Their conga line didn't match the beat of the song, but that didn't stop them. Catherine tried to get Grissom to join in, but Grissom shook his head furiously and stood rooted to the ground, standing near the front door in case he needed to bolt. For the first time, while following the line with her eyes, Sara saw Detective Brass in the room. She was surprised she didn't see Detective Vega.  
  
-----  
  
I tried my best to feed her appetite  
  
Keep her coming every night  
  
So hard to keep her satisfied  
  
Kept playing love like it was just a game  
  
Pretending to feel the same  
  
Then turn around and leave again  
  
-----  
  
When the conga line came back around the living room, Archie pulled Sara into it. Sara shook her head and let out a small laugh as she rested her hands on his hips. The line stopped briefly while everyone stuck out their right leg. Then the line continued and paused while everyone stuck out their left leg. Sara knew they looked stupid, a bunch of grown-ups doing the conga line around Nick's house, but for the moment, it was fun and that was all that really mattered.  
  
-----  
  
This love has taken its toll on me  
  
She said goodbye too many times before  
  
And her heart is breaking in front of me  
  
I have no choice cause I won't say goodbye anymore  
  
-----  
  
Sara suddenly felt a pair of hands on her hips as someone joined the line behind her. Sara smiled to herself as a shiver ran up her spine as she turned her head over her shoulder and saw Nick, who was grinning at her. Sara waited until she turned her head back around to smile to herself. Maybe things would work out between them after all.  
  
-----  
  
I'll fix these broken things  
  
Repair your broken wings  
  
And make sure everything's alright  
  
My pressure on your hips  
  
Sinking my fingertips  
  
Into every inch of you  
  
Cause I know that's what you want me to do  
  
-----  
  
The line stopped as the song ended. Greg and Archie sat on the couch and started chatting about the latest video game while Catherine tried to strike up a conversion with Grissom, who was starting to pale slightly. Warrick came up behind Sara and covered her eyes, "Guess who?" he kidded.  
  
Sara pretended to not know. "Hmmm… I'm not quite sure." Warrick let her go and she turned around to face him. He gave her a friendly hug, "Happy birthday, Sara. Another year just slipped by."  
  
Sara smiled and nodded, "Tell me about it. At least I don't look any older. Right?" she asked.  
  
Warrick pulled back to study her very carefully. Then he chuckled, "Sure, if you say so."  
  
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Sara watched Greg say goodbye to Nick. Nick shut the front door and turned back to walk into the living room. She was the only one still left and she had butterflies in her stomach. She had insisted on helping clean up because the party had been for her. She avoided Nick's gaze as she bent down and picked up the empty beer bottles off the coffee table. She took them into the kitchen and threw them in the trash.  
  
Nick picked up an empty paper plate off the table. He took it into the kitchen and threw it away. Sara had slipped up onto his kitchen counter, sitting there quietly. Her beer was almost empty and she finished off the last of it. Nick took the bottle silently from her and threw it into the trash.  
  
"Nick," she started to speak in a low voice. He looked up from the trash can to where she was sitting. He had known all night that this moment had been coming and that they were going to have to talk about it, but he didn't think he was ready. Things between them had been so uncomfortable since Sara had ended it. He knew he had said they would still be friends, but after what they had, he didn't think he could just be her friend anymore.  
  
"I can finish cleaning up myself. You should probably go ahead and head home. We do have work tomorrow," he told her, trying to avoid the question he knew she was going to ask. After finding out from Warrick that she had gone out on a date with Hank, he hadn't really been jealous. He was more hurt than anything else.  
  
"Nick," she tried again. She motioned for him to come closer to her. Nick stepped around the trash can and stood in front of her, but he made sure he still had plenty of room left between them.  
  
"I don't want to get into this right now, Sara," he warned her. He could see the instant disappoint in her eyes, but he tried to ignore it. She was the one who had ended things between them. She didn't have the right to be hurt or disappointed.  
  
"Nick." This time it was barely a whisper. Nick sighed and looked right back into her eyes. Even though she knew he was mad at her, Sara saw a sparkle in his eyes that she hadn't seen in the past week and a half. The sparkle he always had right before things got interesting between them.  
  
"What, Sara?" he asked, although his tone was much softer than the previous times. He took a step closer to her, which was just enough for Sara. She reached out and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him even closer. Nick was shocked by the sudden movement and then the lack of space they now had between them. Nick could feel her foot against his leg.  
  
"It wasn't a date," she told him, as if it explained everything that had happened between them. Nick was still at a loss with her current behavior, but he wasn't exactly complaining. It didn't hurt when she started playing with the short hairs on the back of his neck either.  
  
Nick slipped his arms around her waist and pulled her body to his, her lips crushing against his in a hungry kiss. Sara quickly wrapped her legs around his waist and moaned when his tongue started a frenzied dance with hers. This was the way things were meant to be between them. Suddenly, the last week didn't seem important to her at all. All that mattered now was them, together. Happy birthday to me, Sara thought. 


End file.
